The Longest Dundalk

September 24, 2009

The longest Dundalk known and accepted as such has 12 syllables per line. It must be stated that a liberty is taken with the name of a multinational company and that the word “clotheses” (as opposed to “clothes”) is used to fulfil the syllabic count demand; however, as the incident referred to took place in the 1980s, and this is one of the original Dundalks, and the preamble is the longest on record, some leeway should be given…

Preamble: Billy Bragg played the Olympia in the 1980s. The Dundalk creator imbibed no alcohol whatsoever at the gig; however, he was developing a migraine during the concert, which was not helped by a bottle blonde sitting down beside him and puking in slow motion on the floor. Going to the bogs, the fact that the sink was blocked with vomit didn’t help. BB very decently invited those waiting around after the gig for a political discussion. However, the migraine wouldn’t go away. Arriving back at the Northside B&B in a room shared with 2 other concert goers, the migraine eventually expressed itself by a copious throwing-up in the room’s sink. None of which directly affects the origin of this Dundalk, which comes from the breakfast the next morning. The landlady served up the typical pork fry; then went out back, to her kitchen and then into the yard, where her clothes were hanging on the line, and started screaming. What she screamed was debated amongst the 3 room sharers: one said it was “doc doc doc doc doc”, another said it was “stop the doctor stop the doctor stop the doctor”, the third was simply scared out of his wits and had no opinion on what the phraseology was, he just wanted it to stop. “Hello?” called one of the 3. “Are you OK?” Approximately 30 seconds later the landlady appeared back in the breakfast room, perfectly calm, acting as if nothing had happened; the 3 men paid up and left. Thence this Dundalk:

Stop the doctor Stop the doctor Stop the doctor

Washes clotheses with her Gamble and her Proctor

First we called her, then we scared her, then we shocked her

Stop the doctor Stop the doctor Stop the doctor

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